Thursday, December 7, 2006

A True Calamity!

Maypril 6011, 1205

I don’t believe it. After all our hard work. This morning the Prince came by carrying a ridiculous glass slipper that supposedly his dream girl lost at the ball. Well, I’ll tell you I was determined to get one of my girls’ feet in that slipper. We tried everything, but they just wouldn’t fit. And then, you’ll never believe it. In walked ugly Cinderella all covered in soot, as usual. Before I could tell her to get back to work in the cellar, the Prince called her and asked her to try on the slipper. And, agony of agonies, it fit! It seems she was the mystery maiden at the ball! Oh, the shame of it all.

I don’t know where she got that fancy dress, though. She must have a fairy godmother or something. Ha ha ha.

Anyway, my husband went off with his precious daughter to live in the palace with her and the Prince. Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say. There’s plenty more fish in the sea.

The Intruder

Maypril 6010, 1204

I am so mad I could just spit rocks. My daughters and I got all dressed up and went to the ball. Everyone there couldn’t keep from looking at us. It must have been the beautiful purple color I died my hair or maybe it was all the solid gold jewelry, feathers, and jewels my daughters wore all over their arms and necks.

Anyway, the prince was just walking over to ask one of them to dance when this new girl came floating in like she was already the queen. Everyone looked away from us and stared at her. Personally, I didn’t think she was all that, but the prince did. He danced with only her all night. Stella had to dance with Lord Loobernoggin and Nellie got stuck with the Earl of Dipsnort. Neither of them have a penny to their names.

When midnight came, Little Miss Perfect raced off, and the Prince spent the rest of the night running around looking for her.

I don’t know who she was, but she looked kind of familiar. I just can’t place her, though.

The Ball

Maypril 6000, 1204

Last night a messenger boy showed up at our door. I told “Cinderella” to answer it. She took her time by walking down the stairs and walking across the hall the short way. The message read

Dear Loyal Subject,

All the maids of the kingdom are invited to a ball. The Prince shall be looking for his bride. Gotta run.

The Royal Ball Planner/Matchmaker

“Girls,” I screamed. There’s a ball at Prince Elvis’ Rock Castle! My daughters asked me if Cinderella was going. “Dear me, no,” I said. The very thought of Cinderella in a fancy ball gown just made me laugh and laugh until I had to sit down and rest.

This afternoon Stella, Nellie, and I are going to go shopping for gowns for the ball. My husband can afford to buy us the best, so we’ll have the most expensive, glamorous gowns at the ball. I think I’ll have them all sewn with solid gold thread! I’m sure the prince will pick one of my daughters for his bride, though how he’ll decide between them, I’ll never know.

Evil Stepdaughter

Fanuary 0, 1204

I just met my fiancĂ©’s daughter. She’s such a little know-it-all! My daughters asked her a question, and she answered it right away!! My daughters walked off crying. The poor little angels. Then the little brat fell in soot and got it all over her. My daughters thought up a clever name for her. Cinderella, Cinderella. I love the sound of that name!

Finding True Love

Misember 100, 1203

I just met this cute guy one day when I was walking. He bumped into me and said my eyes were beautiful. We went on a date to the Magic Food Court. I had a Fairyburger and French wands. My beloved had a grilled dragon salad. He walked me home and gave me a peck on the cheek and asked me to marry him. I said yes. I am so happy. He is very rich and will make my beautiful daughters, Stella and Nellie, the most stylish in the village.